Limitations are everywhere and part of life. They serve a purpose to provide guidance and clarification for a path to follow. And while yes they are restricting, sometimes it’s not such a bad thing.
Let’s say you want to get healthy and eat better. Part of the process involves learning a new food protocol. Limitations are there to help you eat the right foods and not over indulge in the wrong foods. We may have cheat days with food, rest days from exercise. These are limitations. Without these limitations, it’s easy to get off track and fall back into old habits.
We accept and invite limitations into our lives with everything we do. Getting healthy with better exercise and eating right is a desired result. But what about when we become blind to how limitations work against us and we find ourselves beholden to something that is no longer applicable to our current situation? But what about the not so obvious limitations that are self imposed?
Frustrations and Expectation
Life is constantly evolving around us and within us. Yet, when we forget to keep our focus on the desired result, we get frustrated and sometimes resentment takes over. We experience frustration when the limitations we previously found acceptable no longer align to our current situation.
Did you find everything you were looking for? It’s a simple question and often asked upon check out. Either face to face with the cashier or by way of an on-line survey.
Not too long ago I found myself looking forward to and really wanted to answer that question when I checked out at my grocery store. I had become increasingly frustrated with the store because one of my favorite products seemed to frequently be out of stock.
“No not really, you were out of my favorite product, again.” would be my response – slightly disappointed.
“When do you expect to have my favorite product in stock again?” was a recurring response to their question – getting more frustrated.
“I see you STILL don’t have my favorite product in stock” getting really frustrated.
But why all the frustration and why did I continue to look for and expect to find a product that was obviously no longer available. There are similar products I could purchase and other grocery stores to shop at. I did not want to do any of those things, besides the product would be restocked soon and then, everything would go back to normal. I had limited my own options and could not see what was going on, overall – SELF IMPOSED LIMITATION
Self imposed limitations are just that, self imposed, and if we do not take time to become aware of how we allow them to blindly guide us, we will find ourselves stuck in ruts, frustrated without explanation, fall into a victim mentality, and quick to resolve “this is just the way things are.”
Let me offer a different thought process to help figure out where these self imposed limitations come from.
Familiarity is our friend and foe. Given the chance, we most certainly go back to what is familiar without much thought. Repetition that meets our expectations, reinforces the familiarity and provides confirmation – “see this is the right or wrong choice”.
For the longest time, the grocery store carried my favorite product. I knew what to expect. My expectations remained consistent, familiar, reliable. But without awareness the situation around me had changed, but I did not see it.
Awareness hides in plain sight until you really look for what is ACTUALLY taking place. In our humanness, we look at situations from our perspective first. Our focus is what we see – “For my eyes only” in a way, seeing only what is directly in front.
Because our choice remains focused on what is familiar, other possibilities seem impossible. If I had taken a moment to look at the situation from a different perspective, I may have noticed sooner that while I had remained the same in my desires, the store approach, direction, etc was changing.
While not finding items at a grocery store may seem silly, what if this thought process is true on any level? Let’s consider some questions you could ask yourself that may help you become awake and aware of finer details. From a place of curiosity, ask yourself….
- “What am I expecting at this very moment?” This question provides us an opportunity to really stop and focus on the present situation, name or call out EXACTLY what is frustrating us.
- “Is there another way?” Are there alternatives to consider that would produce the same result, just in a different way
- “How does this situation currently serve me? “ From a present awareness, this question helps us to re-decide to either continue on the same path or gain focus for a different direction.
The next time you are frustrated or disappointed in any situation, test drive these questions. Maybe you might find what you are consistently expecting is simply no longer there.
