We make decisions all day long. Every moment of the day, the results we see, right in front of us, are our decisions from questions we ask.
It’s a split second moment in time, that a decision is made. We can tell ourselves that we need to think about it, but in reality the decision is made. That is, until we RE-decide.
Sometimes the choice is obvious and a decision is made. But sometimes we just can’t decide.
Why do we stop ourselves from making a decision? What do we believe we will gain by not deciding?
Let’s say you are looking for a car to buy. There is the information gathering stage to help narrow your choices. But you determine what is most important to you and the limitations you must abide by to make a purchase. Maybe available features, the year, make and model matter most, gas mileage, the cost, etc.
Maybe you find 5 cars of interest and 3 meet your criteria. When you are at a crossroads, you hold off and maybe say the words “I need to think about it.”
Thinking about options may be what you expect to accomplish but what if you consider a different perspective. In reality you have decided NO on all 5 cars until you decide differently.
It’s like the quote “If you don’t ask, the answer is always NO”. The same concept applies here, until you decide YES, the answer is always NO.
Admitting to the YES and NO decisions we make, frees us from indecision and energy drain on our brain and our emotions. But here is the beauty, we can simply, in a split second, decide that the NO becomes a YES.
A juggler spends so much attention on keeping all of the balls in the air and once the momentum gets going, it flows, there is a process. But the juggler is constantly moving, like all of the options you are considering. When we say, “I’ll think about it” it’s like the juggler keeping all the balls in constant motion, and that is a lot of work. We may believe we can put our attention on other activities but in reality, our energy is never really 100% on other tasks because the juggling balls are still moving.
Until there is a definitive YES or NO, the motion will not stop..
Decide and then move on. Perhaps a new decision making framework would help, let’s continue on with the car example:
- Look at all the options
- NO on 2 for sure
- 3 are good, but you’re not sure (you’ve actually said NO)
- NO because you have not said YES
- Set a time frame for yourself on when you will decide – say 24 hours from now.
- When the appointed time arrives, decide.
If you find that you still can’t decide, remind yourself, you have decided NO, until you decide YES.
In the end. . .
When we decide, there is a bit of freedom that comes from the release of the energy that is no longer required to “juggle the balls in the air”.
Be aware – for each YES there is an opposite NO.
Know what you are saying NO to with each YES.
If you have choices, all decisions are NO until you decide YES.
Free yourself from indecision and be aware of what a NO means until the decision is YES.
Remain open to new information, new possibilities.
Nothing stays the same, as you change and life changes, make new decisions.
Be aware of what you decide.
